Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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