Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
