Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
