we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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