I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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