At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
