oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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