exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
