don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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