i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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