i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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