Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
