No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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