stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
