my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
