So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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