i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
