Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
