Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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