I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
