My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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