As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
