I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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