glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
