break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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