HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i now understand why vodka
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
