Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
