Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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