She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
