She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
