Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
