On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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