My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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