I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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