I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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