i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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