So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
