All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
