my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
