i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
