i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
