if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
