Me too!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
