kristin has been a bad kristin
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
