Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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