so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
