Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
