I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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