one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
