Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
